Decorus Life

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All That’s Left

My Father’s Closet

Introduction

It’s month 16 of the pandemic and slowly businesses are starting to open up.  It has not been easy for many people and I have spoken to many who have lost jobs, family members, friends and relationships. The toughest part for me has been watching my mom recover from Covid -19 and praying that my father wouldn’t catch it after 6 outbreaks at his long term care facility. With some divine intervention my father has not contracted the virus. Instead, he caught pneumonia and is on oxygen fighting for his life.

To give you some background, my father has been called by many health professionals a “medical anomaly”. He has lived through 1 heart attack, 5 different kinds of cancer including a brain tumor, 4 strokes and TIA’s and a Hematoma in the brain. Needless to say he is a fighter in his own right.

I share with you all of this because while nurses at the home were tending to my father I decided to snap a picture of his closet.

A Dedication to my Father

My father was born in Vallelonga, Calabria, Italy in 1935 and came to Canada in 1952. At that time many Italian immigrants came on boats with the hope of creating a better life for them and their families. World War II had taken a toll on the country of Italy, food and jobs were difficult to find especially in little towns like the one where my father is from. In Canada many families lived together so they could afford homes. They really came together as a people and if you met someone that was a “Paesano” (fellow country man) you would go out of your way to help them.

3 Generations of Bellissimo men

My father met my mother in Toronto and in 2021 celebrated 65 years of marriage. An incredible milestone if you ask me, and they celebrated together at my dad’s home. I brought my 3 year old son to be with my parents. It has been a year since he has seen his Nonno (grandfather). It was a moment that definitely pulled at the heartstrings. A week later my dad was put on oxygen and is still fighting for his life.

The Picture

One day while the Nurses and PSWs were tending to my father a man came into his room to drop off some of his clothes that had been washed. At that moment when he opened the door to the closet, something came over me, an energy, I was drawn to take a picture of the clothes in the closet. I really don’t know why… I have gone into his closet so many times, but this time was different. It was like someone or something was pushing me to take the shot. The only picture I took that day was one of my dad and the only reason I did was because I didn’t know if it was going to be the last one I would ever take of him.

After I took the picture I looked at it on my phone and the first thing that came to mind was….. 

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My Father’s Closet

This is all he has left.  

My dad worked for 42 years with the same company as a senior technician for a surveying and engineering firm. In fact, later on in his career, he was the only technician in Canada that could fix blueprint machines that were still using Ammonia to make prints.  He dedicated his life to his family making sure we had the things that he didn’t have growing up. I couldn’t believe that after all the years dedicated to his craft, this was all that was left.

The Moral of the Story

I was overwhelmed with tears. I tried to keep my composure as there were people in the room. I could feel all my PPE equipment getting wet. My goggles were foggy and my mask was soaking up the tears. It was so hard not to burst out crying and then…Another thought popped into my head. As I stared at the picture something became very clear to me.

No matter where you come from, what race, culture or creed, society has taught us that life has to be a certain way. We must go through the various stages of our life with the intention of working 30-40 years so that we can buy things. We have been programmed to go after the shiny objects. Our focus is on accumulating items and showing our family, friends and co-workers how successful we are by the amount of things we have. 

As I continued to stare at the picture, I turned to look at my dad and thought; The focus should be on building meaningful relationships. Our days should be spent connecting with people and creating memories and sharing experiences with them. This is what’s important, not the shiny things. While I believe it is important to go after the things we want in our lives we must always look at the energy behind the reasons for buying them. It’s not wrong to want things as long as we are not getting sick trying to get them.  

So many people have spoken about the chasing of material goods. One of my favourite quotes is from the Dalai Lama on the subject.

How are you spending the time while you are here? Are you building meaningful relationships or are you focusing your energy on the shiny items?

All That’s Left

I kneeled down beside my fathers bed and rested my head on his chest. He mustered up the energy to lift his arm and rest it on my head. He rubbed my head as tears rolled down my face. I don’t know how long he has left with us but what I do know is I am going to spend my time with him making sure he is comfortable and loved. 

The picture of his pants, shirts and sweaters, the thoughts that flooded my head will last with me till it’s my time to leave this planet. It is all that’s left of his material possessions. A lifetime of dedication and sacrifice can all fit in one little closet. When it is his time to go we will celebrate his life sharing stories of all the meaningful relationships he created along the way. He is an amazing man and I am proud that I get to call him… My dad. 

This little blog is a tribute to you…I love you dad. 

Person standing in front of colorful television

Kru Mel – TV repair guy

Life is a movie, and you’re the director.

My movie has been a little different than most people. I’ve chosen the road less travelled. It’s been a hard road, it’s been a fun road. Most of all, it’s been my own.

My movie is not traditional. It’s not a story about a guy who worked the same job for 30 years, had 2.2 kids, retired on a pension, got cancer and passed away before I could enjoy the fruits of my labour.

In the movie of my life I strive to live by two principles:

  1. I will work towards being better than I was yesterday 
  2. I will work towards leaving this planet a little better than I found it

What is the story of your movie? What are the themes of your life? Are you enjoying your life or are you playing someone else’s narrative?

If you’re not sure, that’s ok. Let’s adjust the settings on your TV to get a clearer picture of your life.

What channel are you watching?

Way back in the day TVs didn’t even have remotes. If you wanted to change the channel you had to get out of your comfortable seat and move the dial.

Life is the same way.  If you want to make a change, you have to leave what’s comfortable.

This is your story.  What do you want to watch? Old black and white reruns that you’re tired of, or something fun. Something live. Something in the present moment.

Stop living in the past. You have the ability to get up and change the channel of your life anytime you want. It just takes a choice.

How loud is your volume?

What volume are you playing your story at? Is it quiet? Are you trying “not to disturb the neighbours?”  This is your life.  It’s time to start turning the volume up.

How do you do that? The more you align yourself with your true purpose, your soul purpose, your higher self, the louder the volume of your life becomes.

In his book “Simple Truths” Kent Neurburn explains: 

“We should think of work as a vocation, which comes from the latin word for calling, which comes from the word voice. When you look at it like this, work should be something that calls to you, that gives you a voice to who you are and what you want to say in this world”.  

What is your highest self calling you towards? The more you work towards it, the louder your volume becomes and the more fun you have. Start living your life story.

How bright is your picture?

Your TV has other settings besides just the channel and the volume. To get the best and clearest picture you also need to adjust your brightness.

How bright is your life? Do you view the world as a place of light, or is it dark and gloomy? Again you control the settings of your life.

The more clarity that you have in your life, and the more you can discern between what is mind and what is heart, the brighter your story gets and the brighter the world will seem to you. 

If you subscribe to the philosophy that you are a spiritual being having a physical experience then you might also believe that you are a being of light, which in turn means that you have that light inside you. 

The more you can connect with your internal light, the brighter you will shine in this world.

Is your picture balanced?

Do you notice the details in your life or is your picture kind of flat? Another setting you can control is contrast which affects what we call the near-white shadow detail. Adjusting your contrast brings balance to your screen.

Every person has shadows in their lives. And it is through self love that we acquire awareness of where these shadows come from so we can gain the motivation to change our lives for the better.

Are you living in someone else’s shadow? How many times have you listened to someone else about what was best for your life? How many times have you felt pressured to take someone else’s advice even if you knew it was wrong and found you weren’t any happier afterwards? 

When you take active steps to balance your life on an internal level what manifests on the outside will be balanced and your story will be clear, vibrant and most importantly your own.

—-

Kru Mel: TV repair guy

Do you like the movie you are in right now? If not, what can you do to change it? 

Are you working towards being a better person than you were yesterday and leaving this beautiful world a little better than you found it?

You have control. You can change your channel, turn up your volume, connect with your inner brightness and adjust the contrast to have a life that is balanced and beautiful.

This work is NOT EASY. Changing your life and taking active steps to alter behavioural patterns and bad habits is very difficult. Especially if you’re trying to do it on your own.

Hire an expert. I’ve helped thousands of bright men and women find self love and bring clarity and balance to their lives so they can finally start living inside the movie they always wanted to.

Love and Light

Kru Mel 

Story Time with Kru Mel… A story of letting go

A story of letting go. There has never been more of an important time to let go of what has happened in the past. It is time to forgive yourself, so you can forgive others.